Bowling a Googly

conspiracy cover webshopBy Myles Dungan

I have, what I think is a neat idea.

Purely by chance last week I was sitting in one of our traditional smoke-free Irish public houses (well that’s not technically true as it was a rural pub and there was a coal fire in the grate – anyway!) when a man sitting at a table close to me got up and left a package on a seat beside him as he left. Naturally, being a good citizen myself I was about to call after him. Unfortunately, in the process, a mouthful of Corona (I’m not cheap, see) went the wrong way and by the time I’d got over my coughing fit he was gone.

The package turned out to be a file full of documents relating to a company called Google. Now being an other-worldly type I am forced to concede that I was not familiar with this particular enterprise. I have since discovered by inquiring among some astonished acquaintances (What planet do you live on – was the typical reaction)  that they operate A most successful ‘search engine’ on something called the ‘World Wide Web’. Since this discovery I’ve been boning up on the ‘Internet’ as its also called, and have learned quite a lot.

Apparently the file left behind by Mr. Google Man In A Hurry contains the top-secret codes which contribute to making Google the most intuitive and frequently accessed ‘search engine’ on the Interweb.

What I propose is this. It is my belief that everybody should have access to these codes so that they can establish their own little mini-Googles (we could call them ‘oogles’ perhaps – or maybe ‘ogles’ might be more appropriate in the circumstances). So, with the help of somebody called a ‘techno-nerd’ I am going to make these codes available right across the World Wide InterWeb.

I have been advised that there is a problem with something called ‘copyright’. Again this is a term and a concept with which I am not familiar. But it seems that were I to place the Googly codes in the public domain the firm might sue me. Now I think this is unlikely myself as I’m told they are a very hip, freewheeling, ‘devil may care’ sort of outfit who aren’t really bothered about things like this ‘copyright’ stuff so I’m sure they’d be cool with me making their really ultra fantastic intuitive code available to all and sundry.

But, just in case, I am very friendly with a district court judge and he tells me I can insist they sue me in his jurisdiction and he’ll soon see them off.

So watch this space.

(Sent from a penciled note in the National Library)

Myles Dungan’s latest book, Conspiracy, is published by the RIA and may or may not be available on Google Books at some point in the future.

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